What is Mom Guilt and Why Should I Care?

You wake up in the morning and realize your to do list has over 50 things on it and not one thing is self care for you.  Laundry is piling up, your car needs an oil change and meal planning didn’t happen this week so dinner is “iffy.”

You haven’t had a pedicure in over a month, your grey hair is multiplying daily, and the last time you bought a new purse was before your baby was born.  Sound familiar?

#momlife

Over 90% of women can relate to Mom Guilt

We had a baby, we survived postpartum depression, now what’s our problem? 

I still reminisce about the day we brought David home from the hospital!

 

I didn’t know what Mom Guilt was.  I was constantly asking myself WHY I was feeling lost, unhappy and overwhelmed all the time.  Thankfully I saw a Facebook Live from some of my favorite Mom Vloggers about Mom Guilt.  It’s at the end of this post!

At first, I thought it was a total EXCUSE for being lazy or not good enough.  Some made up term to categorize inexcusable emotions. NOPE, I was WRONG!

Still not sure if you have Mom Guilt? Here are my TOP examples;

1. You feel guilty asking for help because every other Mom has it figured out so why can’t you? #momguilt
2. There are dishes to get done but you’ve been working all day and your toddler just wants a few minutes of your time before bed to play. #momguilt
3. You need to work a little earlier for a special project at work but that means you need to wake your toddler up earlier and that might impact the rest of their day. #momguilt
4. You schedule a babysitter but feel guilty that you are going to see friends and having fun without your spouse or toddler.  #momguilt
5. An ad appears on your phone for an awesome new pair of shoes but you think of the 4 new pairs of shoes your toddler will need during their next growth spurt. #momguilt
6. You need to run errands to get things done but you know your toddler would rather play at the park so you skip out on important things.  #momguilt

The simple truth is, MOM’S NEED SELF-CARE TOO.  If you don’t have a support system in place, find one!  

As for me, I am alone.  Sure, I have friends but do I have family that just offers to watch my Toddler – no.  His Dad works or goes to school 7 days a week to help support his children and their future.  I am over 1700 miles from my closest friends and family.

I finally broke down and found a babysitter.  Of course, that made me feel guilty too. #momguilt

I am extremely grateful to have such an amazing son now by my side in this journey.  I’ll admit, I am co-sleeping because I wouldn’t give up one minute of time with him for anything in the world.  But here I am trying to figure out why some days I am just so sad.

Last week, I went to have my hair done by a dear friend.  She’s known me since I moved to Texas 5 years ago. She asked me, where did Darcy go?  The honest answer I had “I’m a Mom.” It took her reminder that yes even as a Mom, we are still women and individuals that need an identity.

I might not have it all figured out, but what I can tell any fellow Mom, we need self care.  We need to excuse ourselves from being perfect, and accept that we need help.

My best advice to find your way is simple

• Ask yourself, what am I missing.
• Figure out how to ask for it.
• Make sure you do it often.

Personal Tip: Start with the grey hair and pedicure!

Much love ~  xxoo ~